Guiding Light: Saranya’s Journey From Darkness to Strength

Saranya, a 45-year-old woman from Thailand, embodies the meaning of her name—“defender”—symbolising strength and resilience.

Raised by her grandparents in Thailand, Saranya experienced early adversity when her mother left when she was just five years old. At the age of 12, her mother returned, and together they relocated to Australia in pursuit of a new beginning.

Saranya reached out to our service in deep despair, trapped in a cycle of fear and pain. She was struggling with her 16-year-old son’s verbal abuse, feeling utterly abandoned by her husband, who dismissed her concerns and undermined her parenting. Her heart ached as her younger children, aged 10 and 12, distanced themselves, leaving her feeling invisible and unloved.

Referred to us by the Mental Health Service after a heartbreaking attempt on her life, Saranya’s story unfolded—a story of resilience buried beneath years of silent suffering.

She first met her husband through friends when she was 16, and re-connected with him again when she was 20, after helping him out when he was collapsed outside a pub. In that moment, Saranya chose to help him, unaware that this decision would entangle her in a future of emotional and physical torment.

Early in their relationship, Saranya’s ex-husband became very jealous of her male work colleagues. Saranya thought that his jealousy was a sign that he loved her and it was his way of trying to protect her. She didn’t realize that jealousy was an early warning sign of domestic violence.

At 21, she was forced to make an agonizing decision—to terminate a pregnancy due to financial struggles. Through her 20s, she sought refuge in travel, but upon returning home, she became pregnant again. What should have been a joyful milestone instead deepened the cracks in her marriage. Arguments escalated, and the emotional abuse intensified.

With the birth of their three children, Saranya found herself carrying the weight of an entire household—managing the home, raising the children, and even handling her husband’s business and finances. All the while, he sat on his phone and treated her like a servant. When she sought help, he belittled her, branding her a bad mother, too strict, too controlling. Each word chipped away at her self-worth.

Then, the ultimate betrayal—just before her hospitalization, Saranya discovered his affair. Returning home, she found herself painted as unstable and unfit, her own children turned against her by his manipulation. Desperate, she wrote a love letter, pleading for change, clinging to hope that he would see her pain.

During counselling, Saranya came to a heartbreaking realization: she had endured relentless physical and emotional abuse. With the help of the learning about domestic violence, using the Power and Control Wheel, she uncovered the painful truth. She had been living in an abusive relationship for 25yrs. Saranya reported that her ex-husband had broken her fingers, assaulted her during pregnancy, used strangulation, damaged her property (including her much treasured vase given to her by her Grandmother), and made horrific threats against her life. She wept as she whispered, “I didn’t think what I was going through was violence because he didn’t leave any marks.”

Saranya was confused about what love truly meant. Through counselling, Saranya realised that their relationship was not based love. Her ex-husband did not love her. He wanted to control her. Saranya learnt that abuse is not love & that love is built on respect, trust, and kindness, while abuse thrives on control, fear, and manipulation. Saranya’s heart broke the moment she realised that his words and actions were not love; they came from a desire to manipulate, control and dominate her.

When her husband convinced her that he could care for the children better than she could, she made the impossible choice to leave them with him. The pain of separation was unbearable, but she felt powerless to fight back.

After a month of being on her own, her youngest children returned to her. Over time,  they recounted the horrors they had endured with their father. Her children felt like they could finally talk because they felt safer with out their Dad around. Saranya knew she had to act. She found the courage report the abuse to the police, pleading for an ADVO, but her cries for protection went unanswered. In desperation, she sent messages to her ex-husband, detailing the abuse, only for her ex-husband to twist her words against her. He then went to the police and they arrested her charged her with harassment & gave him an ADVO to protect him from Saranya. Sadly the police never read what was in those messages.

For months, Saranya fought for justice. During this time, the police came to her house 15 times to conduct “welfare checks” orchestrated by her ex-husband. Fear became her shadow, but she refused to be silenced.

In December, her nightmare reached a harrowing peak—her ex-husband threatened to take her life and that of his own mother. Their son bravely reported him to the police, leading to his arrest. And yet, the ADVO Saranya had begged for still wasn’t granted.

During a counselling, Saranya found the strength to advocate for herself. With the support of her Counsellor, Saranya spoke with a Domestic Violence Police Officer, who listened to her fears and all of the abuse she endured for 25rys. After months or torture, Saranya went from being misidentified as the perpetrated to a victim that needed protecting. Finally, justice was served—her ex-husband was denied bail, and she was granted the protection she so desperately needed.

Now, Saranya is no longer just surviving—she is healing. Her children are safe, receiving therapy to process their trauma, and she is rebuilding the pieces of herself that were shattered.

Saranya’s journey is one of unimaginable hardship, but also one of resilience, courage, and hope. With every step forward, she reclaims her life—one filled with strength, love, and the promise of a brighter future.